April 30, 2008

A thought on experts...

I just want to mention a few thoughts on experts. I need more in my family and I'm not talking about the educated, well-rounded types, like my goodly parents and brothers, who will do and try anything to help us out and do a great job. (Matt, read on, you're in this later). At any rate, I in no way mean to disrespect or discourage those people from helping me but I am wondering about the kind who get paid to be experts including, but not limited to the following:

1. Child has unusual ____ (fill in the blank)
2. Air Conditioning, heating, plumbing not working...
3. Car not starting (even when it's because the husband has left me and his oldest child stranded at church with HIS car that has NO GAS!!!!)
4. House needs painting, repairing, cleaning, organizing, cleaning (did I already say that once?)
5. Car salesman
6. Attorney who reads the fine print (don't be confused -- I know you're thinking I should have one of these, but the operative issue here is "reads the fine print"!) If you ever need a "get out of jail free" card, then you might have a friend in us.
7. Owner of something large to haul a variety of things, including the 700 bags of leaves still in my back yard - which as of right now are not actually in bags!
8. Did someone mention computer genius? (there is one of these in my extended family, but he's probably too intellectually superior to be on my rapid dial for the 1 D 10 T type issues I have. (Hey, the computer is dying, can anyone save my pictures? Later on at the GeekSquad: of course we can, for a small fee...
9. Hair/Makeup artist or plastic surgeon!
10. Fashion diva and personal shopper/trainer/amazing motivator/drill sergeant

Seriously, is it too much to ask for Christian and Benjamin to change course now so they can either become a mechanic, doctor, or a/c, heating/plumbing technician? I bet there's a ton of money in it and I could possibly be convinced to help pay for the schooling! Plus I know an attorney who could help them incorporate. For the rest of you, please include your expertise in your comment so I can put you on "the list"! I don't have an expertise, but if I make up the list of experts, then I'll have "the list" and be indispensable.

I did use the gifts and skills of one such expert this past Monday as I consulted the ever-funny cousin Matt who is a Nurse Anesthetist, on vacation, and still took my call (your wife is such a good woman!) Purpose of consult was the placement of ear tubes in 10 month old T. Matt gave out expert advice and warned me about his likely reaction to the gas which was indeed V. BAD (screaming, writhing in discomfort and upset for about 30 min), but I am here to report that we are all better for it. After having chronic ear infections since Nov 07, 3 perforations since Jan, and including ANOTHER ear infection when they placed the tubes yesterday, T seems to be a new boy (read: louder). How is that possible? Well, now that the fluid is gone (leaking out slowly-ugh!) he can hear himself and thinks he sounds great(like any F-berry!)!

April 15, 2008

I'm late...

I knew that could get your attention! I mean late to trends...for example, I'm sort of a walking fashion victim simply because by the time I figure out that there IS a trend, I'm behind it. If there is a hot new show to watch, (24), I catch it starting in season 3. In this particular case I refer to a literary craze, sweeping (AKA SWEPT) the nation. I have been advised on many occasions to read this...series about vampires and werewolves and I have avoided it because you know I'm just not into the Lord of The Rings stuff, heck, I can't even stand Star Wars...yet, this past week as I found myself the weeklong nannymom of 6 boys (that includes my 2 and ranged from 10 mos - 16), I somehow found the time to rip up 1000 pages of Edward and Isabella...that's right. I've done it. I'll finish the last book by weekend. I'm sorry for any wisecracks, finger pointing, or otherwise foolish mockery. I realize now you were only trying to better my world. Consider it done, just late!

April 4, 2008

She had it comin'

Okay, through some reverse psychology and persuasion, I will continue to blog, but for no reason other than allowing me to pay generous tribute to the beautiful children we have in our home AND to rant occasionally about all things wrong with the world. So on that note, you may decide to quit reading now, or go on to find out why "she had it comin'." The "she" here is me. Most of you will think I probably have most of what I get "comin'" so carry on, but in this case, I want to throw out there that Bug never required us to do any real "baby proofing" -- this is because he never bothered with things like cabinets, electrical outlets, did not pose unknown risk to himself or others with his expeditionary skills...so I have been completely thrown for a loop by T who will put ANYTHING in his mouth (except babyfood), attempt to unplug ANYTHING from an outlet, shake anything vigorously, and go off any ledge HEAD FIRST. Has he no fear? Were you one of these children? Tell me how your parents got control. I have plugged most of the outlets and now he's trying to pry them off too --- there's simply no stopping him. We tried utilizing the firm "No" to which he smiles a knowning smile like "go ahead morons, just try to stop me." I'm willing, but HOW?

For proof, here's just one of many things T put in his mouth...